The Infertility Chronicles.

At the risk of over-sharing, and after a long day of feverishly navigating the infertility clinic labyrinth, I'm diving into this topic feet first.

It's no secret that we have been struggling with infertility since we had Coco, who will be seven in a few months.  After so many years of this overtaking one's life, I'm in a good place.  I know that like, with so many other things, we are on a path.  I don't feel like our family is finished, but whether that means more children of our own, or adoption somewhere down the road...it all happens on Someone else's schedule, and I'm just along for the ride.  So many of you sweetly and lovingly want to ask "how's it going?"...so this may be a good way to relay the process.

Here is where we stand.   We have charted, counted, had blood work and, eh hem, other lab work, been massaged and acupunctured, been ultra sounded and hystropingogrammed...and all systems are a go.  They call this "unexplained infertility," meaning we could totally just wind up pregnant one day, or not.

Last week we had an appointment with our infertility doctor.  We came up with a detailed plan for this month.  As this is our first time going through treatment, I took notes and asked as many questions as I could think of.  She called in a script to my pharmacy, and then the rest of the plan revolved around very specific days in my cycle.

Quickly, before the plan even took action, it started unraveling.  The doctors office called in more scripts than I was told about.  When I called to question them about it, the nurse suddenly "changed" the well detailed plan that we spent 2 hours working up with the doctor last week.  In the end, the nurse was the only person I ended up trusting, and the new plan seemed great.  Then my script came in the mail and according to my notes, it was the wrong dosage.  In between all of these phone calls I also had to navigate the insurance system and make sure everything was covered (or not, but affordable).

At the end of the day, I think we have everything squared away.  I work in the health care system.  I know that I am my only advocate.  If I hadn't caught a dozen different mistakes on my own today, and advocated for their correction...there is a 0% chance that we would have gotten pregnant this month - after involved and expensive treatment.  All I can think is, "what do people do who put all of their trust in their physician?...or who are scared to ask to many questions?  who are rushed through appointments and didn't take notes?"  Thus is the modern day medical system.  This is why we use midwives.  This is why we tried everything natural that we could first.   But, to no avail, so here we go folks!

I'll check back in as this process unfolds.  In the next few days, I will begin to take meds that will make me feel "extremely menopausal."  Have fun with that one Joe!!  ;) 

xoxo, e.

I Love When They Get it Wrong.

Happy one year shop-aversary to Farmstead Vintage!  A year ago, I was scared to take the leap.  I remember hemming and hawing, scared to post my first piece...scared that I would never sell a thing.  But here we are, you and I, 226 sales later!  Every sale is still as exciting as the first.  I am totally proud of what I have created, and that feels good.

I want to chat a little about the thrift of it all.  I'm a treasure hunter.  I love sifting through dingy stores to find the gems.  If you have great thrift stores near you, by all means go scavenge them and do not waste your money on me.  But, that is the beauty of why Etsy and Ebay work.  I may find your perfect dress in Detroit, and you may find my perfect cowboy boots in Nashville.  And, we are both willing to pay for the service of the other getting out there and finding them!

I don't however, only thrift for vintage.  Many of the items I score are new indeed.  I dress Coco in Hannah Anderson and Mini Boden, and she sports a new pair of Bogs each winter.  Joe is always a dapper dan for work, and when things get hair dye and bleach on them at the salon, I can throw them away because they were dirt cheap.  I hate paying more than around $3.00 for clothes or shoes, and no more than $10 for quality boots.

One of the best parts about thrifting is when "they" get it wrong.  Sometimes the pricers mark really quality items at $1.80, and crappy Kohl's brand things as high end.  And we, good people, are the beneficiaries of these  mis-pricing shenanigans!

My friend Kelly and I tag team all of the local thrift stores.  I often check my texts to find she has sent yet another picture of her cart loaded with goodness.  Sometimes one does not find a thing, but when the getting' is good...it's really good.

The recent spoils...

New J Crew cream wool and cashmere pea coat...$5.80.

On sale here for $189.99

Stella and Dot Chandelier earrings...$3.20

New here for $49.00

Vintage Frye Harness Boots (can't tell you what I paid because I'll sell these :)

They've made this style for decades, but seen new here for $298.00

And, The piece de resistance of the week...a brand new The Kid Craft My Modern Dollhouse  
$10.81 at the thrift store.

List Price $199.99.  I know.

And this, she said,  is why I thrift.  
Here's to another successful year!  xoxo, e.

We Got a Widget.

Through a series of unforeseen circumstances, we got a bird.

A starling.

Our little Widget, to be more exact.

   The call came in this weekend that he needed a home, stat.  I have been pretty good about not seeking out animals.  Believe you me, I could browse Craigslist all day and have a serious petting zoo going on over here...but I don't.  My rule of thumb is that if an animal finds us, we are supposed to be it's home...which Widget did.

   Joe's rules of thumb is that we have "no pets unless they give us something."  Which made the whole "I'm getting peacock's" discussion fun this week.  He totally didn't understand that "my pure enjoyment" or "feathers for Christmas crafts" were two perfectly good things that peacocks could give us.  (*note* the peacock discussion is not closed, we are in negotiations, Joe and I).

   Widget is a curious little fellow.  He is a creature of habit, and so, my daily routine has been altered a bit to fit his.   Coco and I uncover him when we get up in the morning, and I set his cage on the coffee table while Coco eats her breakfast and I make her lunch.  After I put her on the bus, I sit down with Widgie and my coffee, and hold his little tin of fresh water so he can "take a bath."  He hops onto my hand and shimmies the water over himself, adjusting and preening feathers along the way.  Intermittently, he sticks his beak through the cage and wants me to bend my head to him so he can preen me for a minute...then back to the bath.  It's awesome when I make Joe sit and do this, and get to yell out "He wants your head!  Let him preen you!"  And so he does.  hee hee.  

   Then I change his paper, get him fresh food, and hold his little food can while he sits on my hand and has some breakfast.  Rewind and repeat whenever I have a minute during the day.  Sometimes I set his cage in front of the heat vent after his bath, and he nestles up against the warm air.

   I know.  Seriously right?  Hey, we never know what God will bring us in a given day, but I must say that Widget has been a lovely little surprise!

xoxo, e and widgie.

Annabelle.

Yesterday I sang at the funeral of one of my special gals.  For the last few years, Ann and I spent time together every week.  This is a gift that we don't get with many hospice patients.  But Ann was the gal with 9 lives...literally.  We were called in 8 times over the last few years because she was ready to go, on her way out, this time for sure.  Yet every time, I'd cozy up next her bed, start playing her favorite music, and she would roll over and say "Oh, you know I like to look at you while you sing!  Wait a minute and let me get comfy here.  You are so pretty!  I love you so much!" - she was like a little pep talk in pajamas, always full of love and compliments, and I loved her too.

Truly, it was a gift to be on this journey with someone who, till our visit last week, was able to discuss what she was experiencing with me.  She was ready to go for so long, I'm not sure what kept her hanging on.  Her husband of 55 years, Dick, the love of her life, was waiting for her on the other side.  She was totally at peace with dying.  She would wake up every morning and say "Good Lord!  Am I still here?".

Part of this journey was planning her funeral service.  She knew what she wanted sang, which versions, and who she wanted to sing them.  I promised her week after week that I would sing The Old Rugged Cross, When We all Get to Heaven (the Alan Jackson version ;), and You are My Sunshine, her special song with Dick.

I've been asked to sing "crazy" things at funerals over the years.  One old gal walked the halls of her nursing home singing "She'll be Coming Around the Mountain," and so this was how she was remembered.  One family asked that I sing "Will the Circle be Unbroken," boasting the endearing words "undertaker, undertaker, won't you please drive kind of slow...cuz that lady that your haulin', Lord I hate to see her go!"

These are not my choices, I'm just there to make the family happy and comfortable.  But today, when I arrived at the funeral and looked at the program, and saw that Ann's special requests had been nixed, I took action.  I was given 10 minutes of "pre-music" before the service, and then had some pieces during, but not her requests.

So, during my ten minutes, I did a rousing rendition of "When We All Get to Heaven", and the sweetest, most tender "You Are My Sunshine" that I could muster.

Because I promised.  Thank you Annabelle, for all of the beautiful talks, the tender hugs, and for the meaningful journey.  xoxo...e.

I'm including an outfit post, because Ann loved my style.  She couldn't wait to see what "get-up" I'd show up in each week...

outfit details:

1940's black dress - thrifted ($1.80. for real.)

1960's beaded cardi - thrifted

black patent belt - thrifted

sweater chain - thrifted

champagne drop earrings - Stella and Dot

Victorian embroidered patch broach - thrifted

T-strap pumps - Ann Klein, TJ Maxx ;)

Oxblood bow clutch - thrifted

Chicken - Dolly Parton.

What, you thought I went tromping around the farm to take pics in my pumps?

...and to receive!! (the year of the crazy chicken lady).

The temperature will slowly creep into the high 50's today, and so the great snow melt begins.  This weather gets me excited to buy chicks, to clean out the barns and ready them for new animals, to gently brush away layers of winter and look for shoots of green peeking out from the gardens - it does not get me excited for three more months of winter.  Quit teasing us!  Give us a real Michigan winter or lets get on with the spring!

Anyhoo, on to the intended post.  When I give someone a handmade, or really heartfelt gift, I hope that the recipient feels all of the love that went into it.  I happened to be on the receiving end of some amazing pretties this year...and I hope that my gifters know that I feel all of the love that went into them!!

For starters, my sweet sister was amazing.  In the last year, she has gone all natural.  She lovingly makes every cleaning and body product that her family uses.  For Christmas, she made everything for my mom and I...and gave us all of the supplies to make a few more rounds!!  Laundry, all purpose cleaner, static guard, window cleaner...etc etc!  and it smells great, and it's all adorable...Point for Becca!

and...she made me this gorgeous yarn wreath with felt flowers!  (and a vintagey knit shawl from mom :)

Joe's auntie gave me his grandma's "wish folder" from the fifties...all sorts of cut out outfits, kitchen brochures, etc...pure magic and so appreciated!  I love seeing the details that she has circled, and how some of them translated into her home and style!

I'm just saying, give me a jar of nuts and a nut cracker as a gift any day!!!

From many, it was a Michigany Christmas! 

I bought one of these "Great Lakes Great Times" prints at an art fair to give as a gift.  I didn't want to give it away, so imagine my joy when I opened the same print and a petoskey print from my sis on Christmas morning -in vintage frames no less!  (another point Becca), bought at a different art show in a different state.  Great sister minds think alike!

And, the piece(s) de resistance...It was a chicken Christmas!!

remember how you used to kind of collect something, and then one Christmas everyone buys you chicken gifts and you officially feel like the crazy old chicken lady...and you love it!!!  Oh yeah.

I was so mad fat Joe for winning this "luxury fragrance diffuser lamp" that came with a broken shade in the white elephant exchange...until I realized that my little hand painted vintage chicken shade fit on it perfectly!  Score!

xoxo, e.

...to give..(craft till you drop!)

I did my very best this year to shop small, shop local and to give hand made gifts.  This can be summed up in a few words...lip balm and bow ties!  

I kept seeing swanky bow tie booths at these hipster craft fairs, and my immediate gut reaction was to buy bow ties for everyone I knew.  My next reaction was to figure out how to make them instead ;).  One deconstructed men's tie from the thrift store (say, $1.00), makes one bow tie.  I bought bow tie clips (sizes for men and little boys) to sew onto the backs from this gal, and I was off....

The two for my brother-in-law turned out so well...I just couldn't stop!

Plaids and gingham for the little boys...

Oh, who am I kidding...bow ties for everyone!!

On combs for the little girls, and on head bands for the bigger girls!

Somehow, I spent the most time crafting for my brother in law (not that he doesn't deserve it...you're an awesome daddy Nick!!)...plaid fedora (bought) with handmade feather sprig from turkey harvest 2011 and fallen chicken 2012...

Part Deux...we had such an awesome amount of bees wax from our honey harvest, and you know what they say...if you have bees wax, make lip balm!!  (do they say that?  well, they do now!)  So, I ordered the tubes, made up some cutie pie labels, and, voila!

Thank you Samantha and Austin for your awesome help!

Labeled, packed, and ready to go to family Christmas!

Lip balm...

One part bees wax

three parts carrier oil (sweet almond, coconut, etc.)

a few drops of essential oil if ya like.

SO Easy...I know right?

Remember how many dogs (and cat) there were at my mom's for Christmas?  They were so good and only knocked Sadie down a few times ;)

Martha, Trixie, Ruby Jean, and Maggie Cat striking!

xoxo, e.

To Grandmother's House We Go...

For the last few years, now that my sister and I have homes and family's of our own, we have rotated the Christmas hosting duties.  But let me tell you, there is nothing like pulling into my mom's house, plopping your bags down in your childhood bedroom (or your sister's ;), and snuggling in for the duration.  My sweet mamma had the meals planned, the dishes always done, and a warm and beautifully decorated place for us all to be together.  

Christmas just officially ended for us.  My family for Christmas, Joe's family over the New Year's weekend...a marathon week of giving and receiving, of eating and napping...and then seemingly doing it all over again!  So, without further ado, I have a bunch of fun posts to clue you in to our Cesarz Family Christmas!!  (I will try not to post too many pics of my family un-showered and in PJ's, but hey, it's the holidays ;).

Lights at the Zoo...

Joe was sure that he and Sadie bonded, because he held her through the scariest part of the zoo...the Polar Bears!

Christmas Eve Mass at The Cathedral...

(*note* you can take pictures if you don't have a seat and are sitting on a heated marble ledge in the very back ;)

Christmas Morning!!

*some highlights*...Sadie got a shopping cart, and took a mid gift opening nap, the elf on the shelf was naughty at grandma's, Coco got a fashion designer board and cat and canary whistle, mamma got giant chickens, Trixie tormented Maggie for three days straight.

What a lovely time...thank you mom and dad!!!

A very Happy New year to you all, and stay tuned for more holiday merriment!

xoxo, e.